


When we were kids

by rubberglue



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-26
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-03 17:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/700712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubberglue/pseuds/rubberglue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s the coming-of-age of Arthur and Gwen’s eldest son Amhar and as he struggles with the responsibilities of being crown prince, he enlists his best friend Meredith, the only daughter of Merlin and Mithian, in a search for the most suitable wife.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When we were kids

Meredith stared grumpily at Amhar as he explained to Uncle Arthur why they were both covered in head to toe in mud. It wasn’t that he was lying actually but he explained it in such a way that it seemed to be all her fault. Which it was to be honest. But really, Amhar, crown prince of Camelot could afford to be more chivalrous and take on the blame himself, especially when they both knew Uncle Arthur was unlikely to punish him, being the apple of his eye. From behind him, she stuck her tongue out at him, regretting it immediately when Mother glared at her. Great. She was bound to have to suffer the consequences now. 

“Are you giving me the silent treatment?” Amhar nudged her gently as they both squatted around the pail, washing their soiled clothes. 

She shifted from him, still annoyed with what happened earlier.

“It was your fault.”

She snorted and continued to scrub at her dress with a lot of passion but little skill. Until Amhar covered her hands with his and gently took her dress from her.

“I’ll do it. Next time -”

Landing in the most unladylike manner on her bum, she pouted at him. “Yes, yes. Next time I’ll listen to you. You have to admit it was fun.”

He merely sighed and continued to wash out her dress. Meredith had to admit there weren’t many crown princes who would squat there stoically and wash dresses. Even if there were, they were unlikely to be as gorgeous as him. Stop it, she told herself. She had no idea when she’d started noticing his long eyelashes, his strong jaw and the thick, dark, wavy hair he inherited from his mother but she really needed to stop. It was silly. They grew up together, unsurprising since their parents were close, and he had always been the annoying, responsible, overprotective older brother to her and his two siblings, Llacheu and Kaylein. She spent a lot of time being annoyed at him so now, being aware of his attractiveness was disturbing to say the least.

“Come on. We’re done.” His warm hand closed around hers and he tugged her up. She ignored the shiver that travelled up her arm and scowled at him. He chuckled, annoying her even more.

+

“I’m sorry about what happened this morning.” Amhar stood stiffly in his parents’ chambers. He knew his father would not have reprimanded him in public so he waited for it in their chambers. 

His father merely waved a hand absently. “It’s fine Amhar. You’re still young.”

“Your father certainly got up to a lot worse at your age,” laughed his mother who leaned over to kiss his father’s head. Amhar groaned inwardly. As expected, his father responded by pulling his mother into a hug, then tugging her down to sit on his lap. They smiled at each other.

He cleared his throat. “Still, you can be assured that I will not repeat my behaviour.”

Leaving his father’s embrace, his mother walked towards him. “We know that Amhar. In fact, I’m pleased that Meredith is here. You lighten up when she’s around and you’re always so serious.” She cupped his face and kissed his cheek. 

He nodded. It wasn’t the first time his mother had said this to him. His father too had expressed the same sentiment several times. But they didn’t understand. Not really. While his parents rarely spoke of the role they played in the peace that now enveloped Albion and of the past, Amhar had grown up listening to stories of the great king and warrior that his father was, hearing the people praise his mother for her firm yet fair rule and witnessing the power of his father’s right hand man. Camelot was the envy of all the five kingdoms and Amhar was constantly aware of how one day, he would have to rule Camelot. And he would not allow Camelot to weaken under his rule. He would not undermine all his parents achieved.

“Thank you. I’ll see you at dinner tonight.” He bowed. When he straightened, he saw his father look worriedly at his mother. 

Meredith was, unsurprisingly, waiting for him outside. “So? Did you get the reprimand you were looking for?”

“Shouldn’t you be preparing for dinner?”

Grinning, she grabbed his hands and planted herself in front of him. “You didn’t get reprimanded. I told you! Your parents are so much better than mine.”

“They just worry about you. You’re their only child and well -”

She dropped his hands and Amhar wondered why he felt bereft. “Yes, I know. I’m irresponsible, foolish, playful. I’ve heard it all before.” Turning sharply, Meredith walked quickly away. Amhar’s heart sank. He hated it when Meredith wasn’t her cheerful self.

“Meredith!” Picking up his pace, he rushed after her but she had turned the corner and disappeared. 

+

Meredith wasn’t surprised to see Kaylein at the training ground. After all, she was the second-in-charge of the Knights of Camelot, after her father. The moment Kaylein saw her, she waved excitedly. After giving the knights some instructions, she turned her attention to Meredith.

“Here to get beaten by me again?” Katherine called across the field.

Meredith grinned. Since young, they had been sparring partners although since Kaylein began to seriously train with the knights, that had gradually lessened. 

“I just needed some air. Beating up a knight or two would help too. And you know I’m more than capable of holding my own against you.”

“Ah, what did my brother do this time?” Pulling off her helmet, Kaylein shook out her golden hair. “Did he nag you over the swim this morning?” Katherine settled herself on the grass and motioned for Meredith to sit with her.

“Nothing.” Which was the truth. It was her own doing, her own insecurities that led to her storming off. Of course, when you grow up with your father being the greatest wizard of all time and surrounded by the children of the great King Arthur, it wasn’t surprising that she felt ordinary. “Can we talk about something else? Maybe about Alice?”

A blush rose in Kaylein’s cheeks and Meredith grinned. “You should stop listening to village gossip.”

“I think,” Meredith said with great certainty, “that after what Thomas put you through, you deserve to find someone who adores you. She might be your one great love.”

Kaylein laughed and shoved Meredith. “You’re such a romantic. You do realise your father had two great loves right?”

“Well, one of them died so I imagine she doesn’t really count.”

“Meredith! Your father will be appalled to hear you say that!” 

Meredith shrugged. She was used to saying the wrong things, doing the wrong things. “Your parents are each other’s great love though.”

“That’s true,” sighed Kaylein. “Sometimes I think it’s so romantic. Other times I wish they would stop touching and kissing each other.”

“I think it’s lovely.” Meredith lay onto the damp grass, uncaring that her dress would be stained. “I hope one day my one great love would come and sweep me off my feet. He’ll be tall and handsome, have a great sense of humour and be spontaneous and we’ll have lots of fun.”

“That doesn’t sound like Amhar at all.”

Sitting up quickly, Meredith frowned at Kaylein. “What are you talking about?”

“I always thought you and Amhar made a cute pair. Plus you two are inseparable.”

Meredith scoffed, ignoring how her heart jumped. “He’s so serious and boring! Anyway, he says he wants to marry some powerful princess somewhere to consolidate power or something.”

“You’re a princess.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like our kingdoms are at war and a marriage would restore peace. Unless maybe Uncle Arthur annoys my dad again,” sniggered Meredith remembering the last spat their fathers were involved in. Amhar had been horrified although Llacheu and Kaylein had thought it was hilarious. 

Kaylein stood and dusted herself off. “Well, it’s his coming-of-age ceremony in two days. He’s going to be a highly sought after man then. So …” She winked at Meredith before grabbing her sword and walking over to the rest of the knights.

Rolling her eyes, Meredith fell back onto the grass and flung her arm over her face, refusing to think about her and Amhar or the fact that he might be marrying some unknown princess to consolidate power.

+

Amhar felt that he had been standing at the steps to the castle forever. Over the past few days delegates from various kingdoms, large and small, far and near had been making their way to Camelot for his coming-of-age ceremony and feast. His father said that this was proof of Camelot’s importance in Albion which only served to increase that churning in his stomach. 

“Welcome to Camelot, Lord Aldwin. We are honoured to have you and Lady Margaret as our guests. Anne here will show you to your chambers.” Amhar bowed deeply. Although he said the same line to every guest, he still worried that he would trip over them or worse, forget someone’s name. And so he had spent time practising in front of his mirror, something which Meredith teased him mercilessly about over the past week. Thinking of Meredith made him worry. During dinner last night, she had been short with him and very clearly sulking. Then he heard that she had gone hunting with Llacheu this morning. The two of them together was a recipe for trouble.

He watched as his parents slipped their arms around each other as they moved back into the castle. His father leaned over to whisper something to his mother and she laughed affectionately in return. Watching his parents act as if they were newly in love always made him wonder if he would be able to find the same sort of love from his future wife. Not surprisingly, his parents encouraged him to marry for love but Amhar knew that a strategic marriage with the right person could prove to be of great benefit to Camelot. He just had to decide which person that would be. 

Just as he turned to enter the castle, he heard the clatter of hooves and spun back, concerned that he might have forgotten another set of delegates. But it was only Llacheu and Meredith, laughing as if they had no concern in the world, returning from their hunt. It looked like they were returning empty handed and Amhar shook his head. Typical. They never put their heart into anything they did, more concerned with having fun than actually achieving anything.

“Amhar!” Llacheu dismounted and sauntered up to him. “Been greeting more guests?”

He nodded. “You’ve been hunting?”

Llacheu laughed. “Well, sort of. Mother and Uncle Merlin would be glad to know we caught nothing. Oh don’t give me that look Amhar. Hunting isn’t actually politics!”

“You’re a mess. We’re dining with our guests soon.”

“Don’t worry Amhar. When have I ever let our family down? Wait, don’t answer that. Come on Meredith, let’s go tidy up so we don’t embarrass Amhar.” Llacheu grabbed Meredith’s hand and pulled her into the castle. She smiled wryly at Amhar but said nothing.

Amhar wasn’t quite sure why that annoyed him so much.

+

The first thing Meredith noticed was that there were a lot of single, marriageable noble ladies in court that evening. And they were all impeccably dressed. Actually, to be honest, she didn’t realise that. It was Llacheu who pointed it out to her with barely suppressed glee and she was amazed he managed to control himself enough to not fling himself at the first one who walked past them. Not that he needed to do that, not with the way he was a striking image of his father - a veritable golden boy. 

“It’s like a bridal market.” Kaylein joined them at the table and sighed in exasperation. “Do you think if they knew what our parents were really like they would change their mind about marrying into our family?”

“Your parents are lovely.”

“And so are yours. But together, they’re terrible. And whoever is the poor person who marries my brother will soon learn she’s married into your family too.” Kaylein grinned as she looked around the room. “You notice our fathers haven’t arrived yet.”

Quickly, Meredith scanned the room. Only Amhar and their mothers sat at the main table. Neither Uncle Arthur nor dad were around. Dread pooled in her stomach.

“You don’t think my dad has discovered yet another secret passage in the Camelot dungeons has he?”

Kaylein shrugged. “I doubt it. I think he’s learnt a new spell actually. Our mothers were talking about it. Something about moving around really quickly.”

“Not that spell,” Meredith groaned. “They are going to appear in this hall with a loud pop and in an unglamourous heap!”

Llacheu laughed. “Oh! Uncle Merlin showed me that yesterday. He hasn’t really worked out the arriving bit yet. But it’s brilliant. Your dad is brilliant. Imagine being able to get to places in a blink of an eye.”

Meredith glanced at Amhar who was deep in conversation with his mother, then bit her lips. He would be so upset if her father made such an entrance at dinner, especially the one with so many delegates in attendance. She stood quickly, ignoring Llacheu and Kaylein’s expressions of concern and darted to their wing in the castle. With some luck, dad would still be there.

“Dad!” Without knocking, she pushed open the heavy door to her parent’s room.

“Sweetheart! What is it?” As expected, both her dad and Uncle Arthur were there. 

“Meredith.”

“My lord. Dad, you’re not doing that instant travel spell are you? Because Amhar wouldn’t be very happy if the two of you landed in the middle of the dining hall.”

A strange look passed between the two men and Meredith wondered if she said something wrong.

“Don’t worry,” Uncle Arthur placed a warm hand on her shoulder. “I wouldn’t do that to Amhar. And your dad showed me that spell last night. I called him an clotpole. Who would want a spell that dumps you on your butt every single time?”

“You’d think that at your age you would stop calling me names.”

Meredith closed her eyes.

“It’s not calling names when it’s true -”

“Really? Well then, can I call you the royal prat then?”

She siddled to the door. “I’m just going to go back to the feast now.”

+

Sometimes it was easy to forget his mother was not born in royalty, especially when, at his urging, she calmly explained to him the various noble houses gathered at dinner and the intricate relationships that existed between them all. And when his mother seemed unsure, Aunt Mithain would fill in the blanks. It amazed him. As far as he knew, his mother never spent time pouring over genealogy books yet she knew all that was important about these families.

He listened avidly, wishing he had something to take notes on - all these information would come in useful but that would be unseemly during dinner. Lady Rose over there, said his mother, had a keen mind and was adept at dealing with people. Princess Eugenia’s father had a lot of influence over the northern kingdoms and she was quite the beauty. 

“I had the opportunity to dine with Lady Violet and her father once when your father was ill. She’s very creative. I believe that she was the one who taught Meredith how to embroider -”

“Meredith can embroider?”

Aunt Mithian laughed warmly, “I thought the two of you were best friends. She can embroider, very well in fact. Didn’t Llacheu show you the handkerchief she embroidered for him?”

Amhar wondered why Meredith never mentioned that before and felt slightly hurt she never thought to tell him about it, especially when the last time he teased her about doing tapestry, she’d told him that she would never, ever be the kind of princess who did tapestry. Apparently embroidery was different.

“Well, that brings her one step closer to becoming a proper princess.” He cringed the moment the words left his mouth. Averting his eyes from his mother, he could feel her disapproving stare on him. 

“Meredith doesn’t need to do handicraft to be a proper princess. She’s been a proper princess the day she was born.” Aunt Mithian’s cool voice cut into his guilt.

Swallowing, he looked up at Aunt Mithian, all ready to apologise for his awful words when he saw Meredith staring at him from behind her mother. His heart dropped. She turned her head from him.

“Dad and Uncle Arthur will be arriving soon.” Although her voice was steady, Amhar knew her well enough to realise the hurt under the surface. Without waiting for a reply, she walked away. When she didn’t return to her seat with Llacheu and Kaylein, instead walking out of the room, he had to follow her. He heard his mother calling him, knowing that it probably wasn’t wise to simply leave the dinner just as his father was about to make an appearance. But he had upset Meredith and there was no way he could sit through dinner knowing that.

He caught her in the corridor, grabbing her arm so she would stop walking away.

“Meredith -”

She whirled to face him, her eyes flashing with anger. Then, she poked him in the chest. “You know how I feel. You know how much I worry about not being the kind of princess I should be and you can sit there and say that?”

“I didn’t mean it.” Amhar caught her hands so she would stop poking at him and pulled her closer to him. “I would never hurt you on purpose. I was just under a lot of stress and upset you didn’t tell me about your new embroidery skills.”

Meredith stared at him for a while. Sighing, she squeezed his hands. “Why are you stressed?”

“You know. Tomorrow’s ceremony, the subsequent tournament and well, I was asking mother about the various noble ladies -”

“You’re looking for a bride already?”

“Well, I thought it was about time I started. I need to ensure whoever I marry is best for Camelot and that will take time. Mother is insistent that I must at least be fond of her so that would take even longer. And of course, no one has said it but it hasn’t escaped my notice that there are many single noble ladies out there. When would I get a better chance to know more about them?”

When Meredith frowned, he tensed, hoping she wasn’t going to laugh at his plan. She often did, claiming that he should learn to let go and not plan every second of his life.

Instead, she got a determined look in her eyes. “If you want to get married to the right person before you become too old, you’ll need help.” She grinned and his heart jumped. “And seeing that I’m your best friend, who else better to help you sieve through all these potential brides?”

He returned her grin. “This sounds perfect.” And it was because he long realised that any plan was better when Meredith was involved, even if she tended to completely derail his plans. Not that he would allow that this time. This plan was too important.

+

She did not cry. At least, that’s what she told herself, ignoring the dampness in her eyes, as she watched Amhar swear his allegiance to the crown and Camelot. His face was stoic and his eyes serious. She too tried to keep a solemn face but pride and happiness threatened to burst out of her and she bit her lips. Her mother squeezed her hand in warning and she dipped her head. 

“Dance with me?” Kaylein held out her hand during the celebratory feast. Laughing, Meredith nodded and took her hand, allowing Kaylein to pull her onto the dance floor. As graceful as the two of them were on the training ground, they were hopeless on the dance floor. Meredith was slightly better since her mother was quite insistent that she take dance lessons so at least she knew the steps - mostly - but Kaylein did little more than sway to the music. Even then, she was horribly out of sync. Still, it took her mind off the fact that Amhar had not asked her to dance. 

The music finally ended and Meredith took pride in the fact that their dance was quite undramatic, aside from slamming quite unglamourously into Amhar and Lady Isabelle (Meredith suspected Kaylein did that on purpose) and stepping on each other toes a handful of times. 

Llacheu applauded them as they returned to their seats. “Not bad. The hall is still intact.”

“Shut up Llacheu,” snapped Kaylein as she sat down. “I see you’ve been putting your dance skills to good use.”

“I’m being the good brother today and talking up Amhar’s good points. After all, he’s apparently on the look out for a bride. Goodness knows I don’t need to. He’s suddenly the boy everyone wants to marry. Every female I’ve danced with have peppered me with questions about him. It’s awful.”

Meredith ignored the annoyance that rose in her and stuffed a piece of meat into her mouth. 

“Only because you’re used to all of them falling over your feet instead.” Kaylein said. “They’ll be back flocking around you once Amhar makes his choice. Oh, Dad is walking over to us.”

Llacheu groaned. “I’m going to dance again. Have fun listening to the story of his coming of age ceremony and the black knight.”

Her mouth still full of meat, Meredith waved at Llacheu while Kaylein scowled at him. He easily snagged someone to dance with, winked at them and disappeared into the crowd. Meredith chewed on her food as she morosely watched Amhar smile at Princess Helen. Princess Helen wasn’t a good choice anyway. Amhar should know that. Her kingdom was small and dependent on Camelot’s protection. Marrying her wouldn’t bring any benefits to Camelot. She made a note of this in her head.

“Meredith. Kaylein.” Uncle Arthur bent to brush a kiss on their cheeks. “Having fun? You haven’t danced much Meredith. I’ll tell Amhar to ask you for a dance.”

“Uh no - there’s no need.” 

“I haven’t danced much either Dad,” Kaylein pointed out. “Are you going to get some handsome prince to dance with me?”

A big smile broke across his face. “I got you someone better than an handsome prince.”

“Oh dad -”

“I got you a handsome King.” He grabbed Kaylein’s hand, his smile getting wider when she rolled her eyes. “Come on. Surely a daughter should dance with her father. We’ll talk later Meredith.”

Meredith wondered where her father was when she spotted him dancing with Mom. She smiled. Her mother was such a perfect queen - always in control, always knowing the right thing to say. Her father, on the other hand, sometimes seemed to forget he was the prince consort. They were such opposites yet, as she watched them sway in each other’s arms, there was no doubt of the love they shared. 

She sighed. She wanted a love like that too and she was going to hold out until she got it. No silly, good-for-the-kingdom matches for her. Picking the best looking grape from the bunch in front of her, she turned her mind to much more exciting things - like the tournament the next day. Kaylein had bowed out, citing an injured ankle but Meredith knew better. She did it to allow Amhar the chance to win the tournament. 

“Care to dance?” Startled by the sudden intrusion into her thoughts, she choked on the grape she was eating. Looking up, she saw an amused Amhar staring down at her, hand stretched out.

“Don’t you have noble ladies to assess?” She asked once she stopped coughing.

“Yeah. But I’m tired of interviewing them.”

Meredith stared up at him. “Is that what you’ve been doing as you dance with them?”

“Of course. How else would I know if they are suitable and what they can bring to the table?”

Frowning, she took his hand and stood, allowing him to lead her to the dance floor. “You are so unromantic. You’re nothing like your parents.”

He stiffened at that but continued to lead her around the dance floor. “I’m not looking for romance. I want -”

“I know. I know. You want someone who will benefit Camelot and be a good ruler, to bring the kingdom to greater glory. But maybe you need to think of yourself. Don’t you want someone you love?” 

Someone jostled them and Amhar drew her closer to him. 

“I am thinking of myself. Clearly I am not my father - I lack his charm and his skill on the battlefield. You know it is important to me that I will be a good king one day - maybe not as great as my father but I will not let Camelot down or let my parents’ work go to waste. And I need a wife who will help me be that king. I thought you understood that.”

Resting her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat, Meredith understood. Amhar always felt this need to live up to his parents and was frustrated when he fell short. Like when he struggled with sword fighting. Both Uncle Arthur and Aunt Gwen were quick to tell him it didn’t matter but Meredith knew it was one of the many things that Amhar felt he fell short at. And to make up for it, he worked harder and took everything far too seriously. 

“I do understand. I said I would help, didn’t I?”

He smiled. “Yeah. Good. Good.” He rested his head on hers and for a while, they just swayed to the music.

+

The sun was dipping behind the mountains and his limbs ached. But he continued. In his mind, he pictured Sir Leon’s demonstration. Left hand up, right leg -

“Amhar?” He stopped and watched as Meredith walked towards him, her hair loose and flying in the wind as she tugged her cloak around her shoulders. He smiled. “Why are you still here?”

“The tournament is tomorrow. I just want to get in a few more hours of practice.” He raised his sword again and went through the familiar steps. From the corner of his eye, he saw Meredith sit on the grass. He should be concentrating on his movements but he was acutely aware of her shifting around, trying to get comfortable, her hands brushing hopelessly at her flyaway hair. “Stop moving around so much. You’re distracting me.”

Amhar knew she was rolling her eyes behind his back but he ignored her. Left foot, right arm, duck -

“You need to relax your grip and follow through with your swing.”

He grunted and tried again, concentrating on his arms. Then suddenly, she was beside him. 

“Here,” she said as she stood behind him, wrapping her arms around him and holding on to his arms. “Like this. See?” Guiding him from behind, she swung the sword a few times. Amhar knew he should be concentrating on how she was moving his arms but how could he when her earthy scent filled his nose, her soft body pressed against his back and her warm hands wrapped around her. His mind filled with images he should not be having of Meredith, the girl he thought of as yet another annoying sister. But she was wriggling behind him, her breath against his neck as she muttered more instructions. 

He pulled himself away and dropped his sword to the ground. 

“You’re stopping?”

“Yeah. It’s not like an extra hour of training is going to help me win the tournament.” He sat on the ground and stared out at the outline of the tournament tents. Even without Kaylein’s participation,he knew he needed a huge dose of luck to win the tournament. Rubbing his face, he sighed. His father would have won the tournament with ease and he was pretty sure his grandfather would have too. 

“You don’t have to win the tournament,” Meredith flung herself to the ground next to him and leaned into his side. “I think you’d be a brilliant king whether or not you’re the best wielder of a sword. What are your knights for anyway?”

Amhar shook his head. “How can I lead my men into battle like this?”

“Camelot hasn’t been at war in over a decade.”

Sighing, Amhar lay on the cool, damp grass. “That’s because my dad is on the throne and who wants to risk the wrath of your father?” Left unsaid was his fear that once his parents were no longer in the picture, the influence and hold Camelot had over the other kingdoms in Albion might crumble. All his parents and Uncle Merlin worked for would disappear under him because he wasn’t good enough.

“Come on. You’re brooding again.” Meredith jumped to her feet and tugged at his arm. “Let’s spar. Maybe it’ll snap you out of your mood when I beat you.”

Pushing himself off the ground, he grabbed his sword and readied himself. She started easy and he parried her blows with little effort but he noted the gleam in her eyes. Her lips quirked and she sped up, her footwork delicate and light almost like she was dancing and it took all his concentration to hold his own. The sound of her laughter surrounded him and his heart lightened. 

One moment of lapsed concentration and his sword was knocked out of his hand and Meredith’s sword pointed at his throat. 

In the moonlight, bouncing on the balls of her feet, her hair flying in the wind, her face red with exertion, Meredith, Amhar thought, was beautiful. The whole evening he had spent dancing with various ladies of the court, all of them dressed in silk and lace, every strand of hair in their place but it hit him that none of them compared to Meredith with her teasing eyes, victorious smile and worn nightgown.

He was in so much trouble.

+

Amhar had never been a poor loser so when he pushed her sword away, mumbled some excuse then left in a hurry, Meredith felt a mixture of hurt and confusion. For a brief moment before he walked away, she’d foolishly thought that he’d been about to kiss her. But who kissed the person who held a sword at his throat? She shook her head, both to clear it and to chide herself for being silly. Why would Amhar want to kiss her? And she definitely didn’t want to kiss him.

So it was just as well that Amhar dropped by the next day with a whole list of potential brides for her to look through. 

She left it on her table.

Outside her window, Meredith could see the crowd from the first day of the tournament slowly making their way out. She’d advanced to the second round and so had Amhar but that was hardly surprising. The second round shouldn’t be too difficult either. The sun was setting and Meredith stuck her head out of the window, casting her gaze around the fields and villages that surrounded Camelot. She liked Camelot. Sometimes, she felt more at home here than her own kingdom, not unlike her father, who she knew loved Camelot and took every opportunity to return. She sighed. In a few years, she would be crown princess of Nemeth and in the same boat as Amhar. It wasn’t something she liked thinking of.

Moving away from the window, she caught sight of the papers on her table mocking her.

Your name won’t be there, it seemed to say. A choked laughed came from her. She didn’t even want to be Queen of her own kingdom, why would she want to take on Camelot, the largest and most prosperous kingdom in Albion? Still her hand shook and when she glanced down at the list of names, she realised she was looking for her own. 

It wasn’t there. 

“You’re a fool Meredith.” she huffed at herself, ignoring the hurt she felt. They practically grew up together. They were like siblings. Of course her name wasn’t there.

“Is something the matter?” Startled, Meredith jumped from her chair and saw her father standing in her doorway.

“Don’t you ever knock dad?” 

He grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners with affection. “Sorry. Not exactly a habit I’ve formed. What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.”

“Meredith.”

“Dad.” She could feel tears prickling the back of her eyes. 

Without saying anything, her father walked to her and enveloped her in a warm hug. He smelled of herbs and burnt cloth and Meredith smiled into his shirt. For a long time, she stood there in her father’s arms, where she knew nothing could hurt her.

Eventually, her father pulled away. “It’s late and you had a tiring day. Go to sleep.”

She nodded mutely and stepped away, moving towards her cupboard.

“And Meredith. Someone once told me that the greatest magic in the world is love.”

Meredith frowned. As her father got older, her got more cryptic. In fact he seemed to relish in his crypticness. “What does that even mean? You’re not going to try a love potion are you? Because I have no intention of falling in love.”

Her father smiled gently. “Things will work out for you. And if they don’t, Arthur and I have a plan.” Lifting an arm in farewell, her father left the room.

Dropping her nightgown, Meredith rushed to the door and yelled, “Do mom and Aunt Gwen know what you two are up to?”

Her voice bounced in the almost empty corridor and all she got in return were the guards looking curiously at her. 

+

Amhar supposed that if he was going to lose in the tournament - and not even in the final round - he could do worse than lose to Meredith. At least that wasn’t a surprise. She’d probably meet Llacheu in the finals and that would be a final to watch. Llacheu managed to defeat her in the last one by a stroke of . luck, only to be easily taken down by Kaylein. 

“Your swings are getting better,” his father said, a touch of surprise in his tone, as Amhar took his seat in the royal box. “Think your brother will get the better of Meredith?”

“I have full confidence in Meredith,” said his mother, smiling at his father. “Llacheu still needs to learn the value of patience.”

Amhar sighed. In front of the whole kingdom, his father was going to kiss his mother. He could see it in the look in his father’s eyes. 

And his father did, leaning over to kiss his wife gently. “I think you’re confusing Merlin’s children with our own again.”

“You did well.” Lady Tabitha said, drawing Amhar’s attention from his parents. He’d almost forgotten he had invited her to the royal box this morning.

“Thank you. I hope you are enjoying yourself.”

She smiled widely at him. “I am. The view from here is quite amazing. Come sit. You must be exhausted.”

Amhar sat but turned to stare at Meredith warming up at the corner near the tents, letting his mind drift to the conversation they had just last night when she came to his room. They were such different people yet somehow they had become great friends, bonding over the fact that neither of them were anything like their parents. But then again, how did anyone live up to parents such as theirs - parents who untied Albion, parents who were called the greatest King and his sorcerer, parents who survived what people would later call the greatest war. Llacheu and Kaylein didn’t seem to care but they didn’t have to. No one looked to them to rule Camelot. 

She had come to offer her congratulations on him surviving the first round of the tournament and to talk to him about the list. She was so matter of fact about it, calmly, almost expressionlessly, explaining why she felt some of them were more suitable, more strategic than other. 

Then, she’d look up at him, her eyes oddly bleak and said, “And so, if you asked me, Lady Tabitha is probably best suited as your wife. Everybody loves her and I’m sure in time you will too. Mother says she has a sharp mind and has been sharing a lot of her fathers’ duties for a few years. Perhaps you could ask her to accompany you to the final ball after the tournament. But I think that before that, you could invite her to sit with you in the royal box.”

“You sit with me in the royal box.”

Meredith had smiled up at him and punched him on the shoulder. “Yes but things are changing aren’t they? It’s about time too. Sometimes I think we’ve been too close for too long.”

What had she meant by that?

“Are you brooding over your loss?” Tabitha’s question broke through his thoughts and he quickly looked at her, wondering how she knew he felt he was losing Meredith. “To Meredith in the last round?”

“Ah, yes. I’ve fought Meredith many times and she always does that trick but yet, I fell for it again.”

Tabitha nodded. “You still did very well. Lady Meredith is a skilled fighter, almost as good as your sister.”

“Yes,” he said and they fell into silence. Llacheu sauntered onto the pitch, waved and grinned at the cheering crowds. Meredith entered as well and Amhar could imagine the amusement twinkling in her eyes at Llacheu’s performance and the smile curving her lips. Tabitha leaned over and commented excitedly on the match.

A moment of carelessness and Meredith was lying on the ground, Llacheu’s sword pointing at her. Amhar could hear his father discussing the shock defeat with his mother. Tabitha had jumped from her seat to cheer with the crowd as Llacheu lapped up the attention. Then he looked down at Meredith and saw the frustration on her face although she smiled as Llacheu helped her up. The tension in her posture screamed at him and he stood.

“Where are you going? The final round between Llacheu and Sir Jacob will start soon.”

He thought of how Meredith said they were too close. He thought about how calmly she had told him he should marry Lady Tabitha. Then he sat down again.

+

Llacheu should have been easier to defeat than Amhar, all his bravado masked a careless fighter, but she’d been distracted after she saw Amhar and Tabitha talking. Anger bubbled in her although she tried to put on a brave face. If he hadn’t distracted her, she would be in the finals. It was bad enough she wasn’t magic, now she couldn’t even win a tournament Kaylein wasn’t in.

“Hey, you alright?” Llacheu whispered while waving. “You were distracted.”

“I’m fine.” But her voice must have not been as cool as she wanted because Llacheu shot her a curious look before turning back to his adoring crowd. 

“Since I’m going to be victorious in the finals,” Llacheu said as they walked off the tournament ground, “how about you accompany me to the victory feast? Unless of course, you’re Amhar’s date again.” 

She stiffened. “I believe he will be going with Lady Tabitha.” What she really wanted to do was skip the feast and lie in bed. But that would be cowardly. As much as seeing Amhar with Lady Tabitha made her stomach churn, she knew it was childish. She had no claim on Amhar just because he was her best friend. Her heart clenched at that thought but she pushed it away and smiled brightly at Llacheu. “I’ll go with you providing you win. But you’re only going to win if you listen to me.”

Meredith looked up at the sky wondering if it was going to snow in summer because not only did Llacheu listen to her advice, he actually managed to defeat Sir Jacob. She leapt from her seat when Llacheu slammed Sir Jacob to the ground. 

“You go Llacheu!” She screamed, then glanced up at the royal box where Uncle Arthur and Kaylein were standing and applauding like their lives depended on it. Then her eyes slid to Amhar. He and Tabitha were laughing at something and that awful churning in her stomach started again. Blinking, she turned away and waved at a jubilant Llacheu, who came running towards her and hauling her up in a hug. He kissed her cheek.

“You’re brilliant Meredith!”

“I know!” And she forgot about Amhar and Tabitha as she celebrated with Llacheu.

When the knock came and she opened her door, her heart dipped a little when she found Llacheu standing outside. 

“You look lovely,” he said before holding out a bunch of flowers for her.

“And you are a charmer as usual. Like your father.”

He took her hand and laughed. “Your father would beg to differ. Remember his story about my dad when he was enchanted into being in love with Queen Vivian? I prefer to think I’m as charming as mum.”

“Aunt Gwen is very charming. No wonder your father couldn’t resist her.”

“And he still can’t!” They stopped outside the great hall. Meredith could hear the laughter and music behind the door. “Ready?” Llacheu squeezed her hand. “Smile. Amhar will soon realise what a fool he is.”

“What?” But Llacheu had already signalled for the guards to open the door and before she could ask him to explain his words he was tugging her into the hall. All eyes were on them as they walked down the middle of the hall to where Llacheu’s parents were seated. They smiled fondly at Llacheu and her. Next to them, Amhar barely glanced at her before turning to say something to Tabitha who nodded in reply. 

“Smile,” repeated Llacheu. 

She smiled despite the pain in her heart. Why did she have to realise she was in love with Amhar in such a public setting?

+

Lady Tabitha would make a perfect wife. Lady Tabitha would make a perfect wife. Maybe if he repeated it enough, he would come to believe it. He’d spent the whole evening with Tabitha and she was friendly and sweet but all he found himself doing was looking for Meredith who was clearly having the time of her life with Llacheu. How had he not seen it? Both of them were fun-loving, free spirited, not bothered by the chains of duty and pressures of expectations. Or even if they were, they brushed it aside and lived life to its fullest. 

Even now, as he lay in bed, he could hear Meredith’s laugh as Llacheu twirled her around the dance floor. He could see her hair coming loose from the bun it was in and flying as she danced. He missed her. He missed her grumbling about court protocol. He missed how she always managed to persuade him to do things he knew he shouldn’t be doing. He missed her quiet understanding when he felt suffocated by expectations. He missed her. Groaning, he flung a pillow over his face.

“Amhar?” His mother eased the door open. “Can I come in?”

“Yes, yes. Of course!” He scrambled up as she entered and sat on the bed next to him.

She cupped his face and he felt like a little boy again. “Oh Amhar, you grew up so fast.” Her fingers swept through his hair, pushing his hair off his face and she smiled at him. “You know that your father and I love you very much.”

“Mum, I’m fine not winning the tournament.”

“I know. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt." 

Amhar shrugged. "Kaylein will lead the knights when I'm king. She would have won the tournament with one hand tied behind her back."

“We still have many years left in us Amhar. You don’t have to worry about being king for a while. Enjoy being young.”

“Like Llacheu?”

“You’ll never be like Llacheu, sweetheart.” His mother smiled fondly at him. “Frankly, I think one Llacheu is enough. I’m talking about you and Lady Tabitha. I think I know what you’re up to.”

“I like her,” said Amhar, even as the words sounded hollow to his ears. 

“She’s lovely and if you really like her for who she is, then your father and I will support you. But Amhar,” her hands took his, squeezing gently, “marriage isn’t simply a political move. It’s the rest of your life. Your father will not be too pleased if he finds you decide to marry solely for politics. He - we want you to be happy, to love your wife the way your father and I love each other.”

“I like her,” he repeated. “She’s kind and gentle and -”

His mother looked skeptically at him, then sighed. “If you say so dear. Just think about what I said.” Standing, she leaned over and kissed his head before leaving him alone with his thoughts. Thoughts which immediately turned back to Meredith. 

+

She had woken in a bad mood. Not only did her feet ache from all the dancing the last night, her head throbbed from too much wine but the worst was how battered her heart felt. Amhar had ignored her the whole night. Every time she’d looked up at the royal table, he had been in close conversation with Lady Tabitha. He had even laughed at something she said. Amhar rarely laughed out loud. He smiled, smirked, and sometimes chuckled but he rarely laughed loudly. So when she heard his laughter, seemingly caused by something Lady Tabitha had said, she had felt her heart shatter. Llacheu must have sensed something because unlike previous feasts when he would have a different partner at every dance, he stayed by her side the whole night, eventually escorting her back to her room.

Flexing her limbs, Meredith sighed. If she had her way, she would spend the whole day lying in bed feeling sorry for herself. But Llacheu had extracted a promise from her to bring him to the pool she went with Amhar. It was something she did only with Amhar since they found it in the surrounding forest many years ago but things were changing now. She’d said so herself. Bringing Llacheu to the pool would solidify that and stop her from wanting things she couldn’t have.

By the time the knock came, she had convinced herself that all this was for the best. With Llacheu at his most charming, the trip to the pond was actually quite fun. They swam together before lying on the bank to dry themselves. 

“I’m thinking of going on a quest.”

“You? A quest to do what?”

Llacheu lifted himself up on one elbow and shrugged. “I’m sure there must be some quests lying around. I’ll ask at the tavern tomorrow. I think I need an adventure.”

“I don’t think your father will approve.”

“My father was exactly like me when he was younger. I don’t think he can say much. Anyway, I’m telling you because I’ll need a lady to wait for me at home. Will you be that lady?”

Meredith laughed until she teared. When she finally caught her breath and wiped the tears from her eyes, Llacheu was grinning at her. “You do realise, Llacheu, that I’m more likely to succeed at any quest than you are right? Maybe you can be the man waiting for me at home.”

On the way back to the castle, they bickered good-naturedly over what kind of quest was best but before Meredith could explain why quests to defeat monsters were much better than finding the hidden object quests, she saw Amhar standing at the castle entrance watching them return. She felt his eyes take in her muddy bare feet, her hand in Llacheu’s and her damp hair. 

“Amhar!” Llacheu released her hand and waved at his brother. “I thought you’d be busy courting Lady Tabitha.”

“I wanted to speak to Meredith actually. I didn’t realise you two had gone out together.” His voice was clipped and Meredith knew he was angry. She frowned, wondering what had put him in such a mood so early in the day. 

“Sure. I’ll see you at lunch Meredith.” Then Llacheu disappeared, leaving her at the bottom of the stairs staring up at a furious Amhar. Slowly she climbed the stairs to him, a tentative smile on her face.

“Hey. Everything alright?” 

He nodded. “Can we talk in private?” His voice lacked his usual warmth and affection and he refused to make eye contact with her. Dread pooled in her stomach Was Amhar angry with her? In silence, they made their way to his room.

“Where did you go with Llacheu?”

“We walked to the forest.” Suddenly, she was reluctant to tell Amhar that she’d brought Llacheu to the pool. 

He stared at her. “You brought him to our pool.”

“It’s hardly our pool when anyone can go there.”

That clearly wasn’t the answer he was looking for. “Of all people, why Llacheu?”

“What do you mean?” 

“You and Llacheu. Don’t think I didn’t notice how much time the two of you have been spending together. And last night, you spent the whole night dancing with him and this morning, you bring him to our pool.” For perhaps the first time in recent years, Amhar raised his voice and she noticed the tension in his posture. 

“You are angry because Llacheu and I are spending time together?” Meredith didn’t understand. She’d spent time with Llacheu before and it had never bothered Amhar. “Has something happened? Did you quarrel with Lady Tabitha? I could talk to her if you want, not that I’m very good at diplomacy but -”

“He’s going to break your heart the same way he’s broken a whole string of hearts. They were just all a little bit of fun for him. Like you now. I can’t believe you don’t realise that!”

“Maybe Llacheu really likes me!” Meredith had no idea why she said that. 

“Likes you? You’re hardly his type. You’ve seen his previous beaus - all gentle and graceful. They most certainly don’t run around Camelot barefoot.” His words faltered when he saw the hurt she couldn’t conceal. 

“Or laugh too loudly? Or play in mud? You are an ass Amhar,” she whispered before walking out of his room quickly. He didn’t deserve to see her cry.

+

If Meredith was going to continue her ill-advised dalliance with Llacheu, then - then he didn’t know what to do. He had avoided lunch, claiming he wasn’t feeling well, angry at his uncharacteristic loss of temper, angry with Meredith and Llacheu.

The whole night he’d stayed up thinking of his mother’s words, of Meredith and of Tabitha. He thought of all the times he spent with Meredith, of everything they shared and how much he cared for her. He thought of how much he missed her whenever she returned to Nemeth. He thought of that bitter feeling he had when he watched her laugh and dance with Llacheu. 

He couldn’t marry Tabitha as perfect as she would be as a wife and future Queen. 

The plan was to talk to Meredith, tell her his realisation and figure out if she felt the same way. The plan was not to let jealousy get the better of him and then hurt her feelings. Seeing the pain in her eyes after he’d deliberately used her insecurities to hurt her almost killed him. If she never wanted to see him again, he’d understand.

“Hey Amhar!” Llacheu, the last person he wanted to see, pounded on his door. “Dad is worried about you. Says it isn’t like you to skip lunch.”

“Go away.”

Amhar heard Llacheu laugh. “Is my serious, sensible brother sulking?”

Grumbling under his breath, Amhar stalked to the door and flung it open. “You hurt Meredith and I’ll make sure you pay for it.”

Lifting his hands up in mock defeat, Llacheu shook his head. “From what I heard, I’m not the one who hurt Meredith. And really, do you think she’s interested in me?”

“You two are very similar.”

Llacheu laughed again. “She’s only had eyes for one person since young. Of course that person is clearly blind and not very smart. She’s out walking with Kaylein by the way. In case you wanted to talk to her. Dad told the kitchens to keep a meal for you.”

+

“Alice and I are planning on a picnic tomorrow. Would you like to come along?”

“And crash your little romantic picnic? I don’t think so.” Meredith played with the daisy she’d plucked. She really didn’t feel like walking in the gardens but Kaylein had been insistent. 

“Oh don’t worry about that. Alice and I have a lot of time together. But you’ll be leaving soon.”

“The sooner the better,” she muttered.

“You sure you won’t stay longer? I know your parents have to get back.”

Meredith shook her head. She used to stay to hang out with Amhar. What was the point of that now?

“Have you heard of the new sword designs being used in Caerleon?” As expected, Kaylein knew all about them and launched into a passionate speech explaining why she didn’t think they were as great as everyone was making them out to be.

“Dad is unimpressed. Queen Annis gave him a set as a gift recently.” Kaylein stopped talking and looked behind Meredith. “Oh. Well, I have to get back. Training.” 

Startled by Kaylein’s sudden need to return to the castle, Meredith turned around to see what distracted her.

Amhar. His face was blank as he stood staring at her.

“Meredith.”

“I should go back too. I need to pack.” She brushed past him but he grabbed her hand. The curl of his fingers around her wrist made her shudder. “Please Amhar. Let me go.”

His hand dropped from hers. “I just - Meredith, I’m sorry. All those things I said earlier. I’m so sorry.”

She looked down and sighed. “It’s fine Amhar. But just so you know, there’s nothing between me and Llacheu.” Turning away, she walked towards the castle, her heart heavy when it seemed he wasn’t going to say anything else. 

“Meredith, don’t walk away. Please.”

The pleading in his voice made her stop but she didn’t turn back. Yet she was acutely conscious when he walked towards her. She could feel him behind her even though he wasn’t touching her. It took all her willpower not to turn and lean into him.

His hand touched her arm and he urged her to turn until she was staring at his chest. That same hand touched her chin until she looked him in the eyes. She’d expected to see the contrition but she didn’t expect the gentleness and love that filled his eyes.

Her heart jumped and she couldn’t help the hope that started to blossom in her.

Gently, his thumb stroked her cheek as he gazed down at her. “I love you Meredith,” he breathed so softly Meredith wondered if she was imagining his words. But then he leaned over and brushed a kiss across her lips. Shocked, she raised her fingers to her lips.

“I love you. I always have and that idea of finding someone perfect to marry was a waste of time because I’ve already known who that person was.”

Happiness burst in Meredith but still she found herself unable to move or say anything. She could hear her heart thumping in her ears as she stared up at Amhar who was now looking slightly uncertain.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to realise this.” He cleared his throat and gathered her hands in his. “You feel the same way too right?”

She licked her lips and nodded. Then he grinned and she found herself smiling back at him. “I love you too you ass.”

He whooped. Serious, quiet Amhar whooped then scooped her up in a hug and twirled her around.

Then finally, finally, he kissed her properly - his lips soft and warm against hers, his fingers in her hair. Her own hand slid around him and she snuggled into him, letting his warmth and scent surround her. His tongue teased her mouth open and Amhar deepened the kiss. She relaxed and allowed herself to run her hands over him, feeling him. 

Eventually they had to surface for air and she smiled at him. Tucking her into her side, he led her back to the castle.

+

“Great. So not only is Merlin the husband of one of our closest allies, he is going to be Amhar’s father-in-law. Brilliant. My life is complete.”

Gwen smirked and shook her head. “I know you’re happy. And even if you aren’t Amhar is happy.”

“Of course I’m happy. Meredith is a lovely girl. Her father though.” Arthur sighed dramatically. Then he stood and wrapped his arms around her. “Do you remember when we were their age? I was completely smitten by you - the lovely serving girl who lectured me.”

“I seem to remember that.”

“Mmm,” Arthur nuzzled her neck. “She wasn’t easy to court, always saying I would find someone better.”

Gwen laughed and tried to wriggle out of Arthur’s hold but he simply tightened his hold. “I remember a King who listened to his uncle and broke up with me because I was inappropriate.”

“Ah, I was foolish then. But now I know better.”

“What do you know?”

“I know I’ll never let you go. You’re stuck with me forever.” And he dipped his head and kissed her. After over twenty years of marriage, Arthur’s kisses still made her tingle. “If Amhar and Meredith are half as happy as us, I’d be satisfied.”

“I love you Arthur. Now why don’t we stop reminiscing and you take me to bed?”


End file.
